A cross-over from Fear to Love

I feel that there is a passing-over or crossing-over happening, from fear to love. I sense this in a wide, big picture, global scale. In a humankind scale. It is possible that it’s all in my head. But almost all of us are anyways going about the world based on things in our heads. I might as well stick with what I sense/choose to believe/feel – a crossing-over of sorts, from fear to love.

I like to believe, and I find supporting observations to substantiate, that there are now significant number of (mostly young) people who are attempting to not lose their innocence so much while growing up.

Hordes of people (mostly young) not feeling okay about just ‘hardening up’ or ‘toughening up’ as part of growing up/older. This often ends up being in opposition to what their elders and the existing culture around advise them.

Maybe this has always been happening. Maybe each generation tried to be a little more kinder than the previous. Maybe there is no linear progressive threads like that. Maybe it’s new, maybe it’s sporadic, maybe it’s occasional.

Whatever be the case, I feel that, in the world as a collective, there are so many people attempting to be kinder.

So many people trying to not pass on hurt. People trying to process and resolve their pains, so that they don’t go on to spread hurt – which can happen while living with unresolved hurt.

This is sometimes categorized as selfish individualism. As something that creates islands of disconnected individuals. But in my experience, NOT processing and resolving ones feelings/experiences – joys and pains – is what creates isolation – creating the scenarios of ‘feeling lonely even in the company of people’.

All these young people trying to understand and practice ‘self love’, ‘compassion’, ‘kindness’ – they are not turning themselves into islands, they are not withdrawing from the world into their individualism-based cocoons. They are just trying to make sure that they don’t perpetuate the cycle of hurt. They are trying to not participate in the cycle of love-less-ness. They are trying to form real connections, with vulnerability and all. They are trying to not be in a closed-off-but-secrely-craving-connection mode for their entire life.

Trying to move from a fear-based, violent, aggressive, unkind dualistic system of judgement – of right and wrong. Trying to move to a kinder, loving, peaceful way of living. This often gets mistaken as an unprincipled, apathetic, agnostic stance – it’s not. It’s just a bit different than the business-as-usual.

In quite a few settings, this attempt to not toughen up towards the world is seen as a blatant disregard to age-old wisdom. As some sort of aberration, some sort of ‘collapse of morals’.

Collapse of morals – maybe. But what are the ‘morals’ being disowned or collapsed? Morals that are repressive, judgemental, punishing, unkind, abusive, unjust. Morals that are traumatizing. Morals that are so transparently hypocritic. Morals that are commented as ‘too good to be true in the world’. Morals based on fear. Yes, those morals may be collapsing. New morals of a gentler, respectful, loving, resilient nature may be evolving. Why not give it a try? It’s definitely not like some paradise will be lost, is it.

One may feel either way. Or in different ways. It’s all okay. No one is judging. We are all just living. Thankful for this space and opportunity to share and feel connected across geo-political-cultural boundaries.

Some helpful CPTSD Resources

1. Jessica Lowe – https://www.instagram.com/cptsd.hope/

2. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma – Pete Walker – Book

Discovered the term “Emotional Flashbacks” from this book. Names have been useful to me, to ‘make sense’ of thoughts and feelings.

Emotional Flashbacks are a key element of CPTSD. Due to the lack of awareness about it, emotional flashbacks are often mistaken for character faults, […] Continue Reading…

Learning about C-PTSD

Learning about C-PTSD (or Cptsd or CPTSD) has been making a lot of sense. For me, it helped by providing a relatable structure to so many thoughts I have been having. Formless, structure-less, feeling-based thoughts.

Cptsd acknowledges invisible trauma. Relational trauma is a major invisible trauma that can be at the root of a lot of adult issues. I am of the feeling that, invisible trauma is what causes […] Continue Reading…

Ask questions. Apply kindness. Move.

The post follows a stream-of-consciousness style. The summary/TL;DR is – attempting to apply/adopt kindness when encountering impasses and frustration. The hope is that it will improve the quality of life and unlock solutions that otherwise may not be reached.

There would be questions in you that you would like to be answered. There would be questions that you are aware of and questions that haven’t formed yet.

We’ll focus on […] Continue Reading…