Learning about C-PTSD (or Cptsd or CPTSD) has been making a lot of sense. For me, it helped by providing a relatable structure to so many thoughts I have been having. Formless, structure-less, feeling-based thoughts.
Cptsd acknowledges invisible trauma. Relational trauma is a major invisible trauma that can be at the root of a lot of adult issues. I am of the feeling that, invisible trauma is what causes so much of what is often labelled ‘weird’, ‘bizarre’, ‘crazy’.
And it is my feeling that invisibly traumatized people often get served last or even worse, don’t get fed at all. Why? Because they are many times judged as ‘undeserving’. Undeserving of what? Kindness. Invisibly traumatized people will have no easily-identifiable, tell-tale, regular injury signs like that in the case of physical trauma or injuries.
This makes it a double blow to those who are invisibly traumatized. First, they are to face the effects of the (invisible) trauma and now, they don’t get kindness as they ‘seem to be fully fine and yet expects kindness’. In a setting where kindness is dished out as some reserved, pity-based commodity.
As it deals with trauma that is experienced over a long period of time, it has strong connections to childhood. A book on Cptsd has this phrase in it – “the epidemic of traumatized childhoods’ Attachment-aware, trauma-informed approaches to all people, ESPECIALLY to children feels immensely potent in making the world a better place.
It is amazing how much goodness you/I can create in the world if you/I will just learn to be trauma-informed. One could arrive at this same place in another way as well – through non-judgement and thereby through kindness. Trauma-informed approach focuses on ensuring a sense of safety. Safety is what results from practicing non-judgement/unconditional respect.
In a way, it can all be very simple. If I would just drop ‘judgement’ as the sense-making mechanism that I use to know the world, and instead use unconditional respect/non-judgement as the sense-making mechanism, a lot will change for the better, the safer, the cozier.
Because unconditional respect (~= love) and non-judgement creates something like a huge blanket of kindness. Inside the blanket, kindness is ever-present. It’s the norm. It’s not rationed. Inside the blanket, kindness is in abundance. There will not be the situation of having to compare trauma and create lists of people who are deserving and undeserving of kindness.
It could also be said that, a ‘cycle of loveless-ness’ or ‘not enough love-ness’ is something that causes the trauma in the first place. It makes sense to me that, if I/we choose to not pass on the cycle of loveless-ness by dropping the tool of judgement and embracing unconditional respect, I can possibly contribute to a setting where there is lower trauma-production.